I don’t feel like dancin’

So I figured I’d try something different. Basically as I don’t really know what I’m doing with this blog, I’m stealing ideas from all over. This one’s from Grey’s Anatomy. They always title their shows after a song. I figured I could try that. They’ll all be favourites from my playlist so you’ll be able to see what awful taste in music I have too. I make no apologies, except to my children who have to suffer the music!

So sorry Scissor Sisters, I don’t feel like dancin’. This was how I felt about the summer vacation. After being in lockdown for so long, I was worried how I’d entertain myself and the kids without the distraction of work and home school. Our trip back to the UK had to be abandoned with the Covid situation. That upset me as it’s been 3 years now since the boys met up with their family and they were excited about seeing everyone. So feeling stressed, I turned to my usual source of comfort and started to eat. The annoying thing was, I’d only started Weight Watchers a couple of weeks before the pandemic started and I’d been doing really well.

School was out for 9 weeks I think. By the end of May I knew I had to do something because as the weight piled on, my mood tumbled. As I got more upset about my ballooning waistline, I ate cake to comfort myself. Seriously? Why on earth do I do that apart from stupidity?! But, I set myself a goal of starting on the first Monday after the school officially broke up for summer. And guess what, I stuck to it!

However, after the first week I noticed the sporadic ankle pain that I’d been ignoring was becoming more frequent and actually had stepped up a notch. Googling the symptoms (I’m too cheap to go to a doctor), it all pointed to arthritis and that’s definitely on the list of delights I’m going to inherit from my family. I got kinda scared. Fat and in my forties and now a potential arthritis sufferer. Nope! Things had to change!

Exercise has always felt like my nemesis. I’ve dabbled in its mysterious arts in one way and another but never really stuck at anything. My more recent efforts, zumba and jogging had to be ruled out due to my ankle pain. But I knew exercise was necessary to help with my weight loss and consequent ankle pain. I was feeling lost.

And then in a random moment whilst washing a few pots, my brain suggested yoga. And then my brain laughed heartily at the thought of me doing yoga. And then my brain reminded me that the NHS recommend yoga in some cases of reduced mobility. And then my brain argued for a while at the thought of chubby old me trying to hoike my legs into the lotus position with inner peace. But then my brain thought about how I may need a walker if this was arthritis and maybe even a wheelchair and suddenly my brain started sending signals to my hand and I was suddenly looking up ‘beginners yoga’ on You Tube.

So here we are almost 4 weeks later. I’m more Yogi Bear than yogi. Seriously, my Downward Facing Dog is more like a newborn baby horse legs buckling all over the place but trying so hard to stand up. And my plank: you can think of it as a battered piece of driftwood being thrown around in the surf desperately trying to make it to shore so it can collapse in joy at its hard won safe harbor. I can plank for a minute now and I could only do 20 seconds to start. I don’t know if a minute’s good but I’m very pleased and considering if I should make myself a certificate.

Don’t get me wrong-I’m still fat and have a long way to go before I will be flexible and in any way ready to do it in view of others but I really love doing it. I haven’t even mentioned it on facebook as I feel a tad silly still doing it. But, I lucked out in so much as I really liked the first video I tried. The girl is awesome-she is sickeningly beautiful, has a voice like honey and just seems to be talking directly to me! (Which is very weird as I know she isn’t but if it helps me get through the session, I’ll believe whatever I jolly well want to!)

So every morning Rich goes to work and I drag out the camping mat. So far, I’ve been doing the video 6 days a week. She has so many videos so 2 or 3 days a week I also try a different one with varying shades of ability and hilarity but I always do the first video after so I end up feeling successful.

And then on Saturday morning I found myself receiving bad news. I was stunned and heartbroken. Rich was out and the kids were still tucked up in bed. I sat there sobbing for a while feeling lost when it occurred to me maybe I should try the yoga. So I did. I cried throughout most of it admittedly but it still really helped me calm down. Why has nobody ever said it’s good at giving you inner peace too!?!

I’m determined to continue through the summer and hope once we get back to school, I’ll find a way to incorporate it into my daily routine. I’m still not sure what my chakras are and how long I have to wait until I can buy myself a cute fat buddha and bamboo ornament. But I am now 18lbs down and have toned up more than I thought possible in such a short space of time and importantly, I haven’t had any foot pain in over a week so winner winner, skinless breast of chicken dinner!

All in all, I still don’t feel like dancing but when those old Tibetan humming bowls start singing, count me in!

Namaste y’all!

•